Racer Rankins:
#1) #24 Jeff Gordon : For the obvious reasons, to piss off all you Earnhardt fans! He's hot and when he's on a roll it's hard to stop him!
#2) #48 Jimmie Johnson: just to rub salt in the wounds of those left sore from #1. But he is so consistent, and the funny thing is he is even consistent in the area of improvement (Richmond anybody?) he could get #5 at the lady in black!
#3) #29 Kevin Harvick: Because I need to prove I aint got anything against bald people! True story: I was in the NASCAR store that is in Spence's Bazaar in Dover , Delaware, and the owner is talking to me and showing me different stuff for sale when we start talkin about who our favorite driver is , and he kinda tilts his head down and raises his hat slightly to reveal his bald spot then announces that he is a #29 fan, I acknowledged , but I so badly wanted to say "did ya get that there bald spot from the Harvick fan club?". You really should visit his store when you come to the Monster Mile, e-mail me and I'll get you his info.
#4) #2 Kurt Busch : Why ? Because not all rankins can be satirical and/or humorous! Really , this guy is a racer and he will put Penske back on the map. Besides I do think he is quicker now that his ears are pinned back , maybe kyle would have a championship now if he followed his brother to the cosmetic surgeon!
#5) #17 Matt Kenseth : I must keep him in the rankins no matter what if I want to live! If you don't like it , You talk to my wife! By the way I just bought a autographed Matt Kenseth poster with a real car on it , a Monte Carlo , think about it!
#6) #5 Kyle Busch: I am not a huge Busch brothers Fan but you can't deny that they can race, you also can't deny that if kyle did not get a job racin he would be on the welfare or asking "want fries wit that?" , so you think I'm a jerk , I did not jump out of the COT after winning the race and say how much it sucks! If you are still not convinced just watch any interview with him!
#7) #20 Tooney Stewart: it really pains me to rank him in the top ten, but facts are stupid things (Ronald Regan said that) , Tooney is a winner, and no fat puns will be allowed to fly here , but I must give you some food for thought : Subway pulls out off Roush and hires Tooney to do all those commercials did it really cost em' that much?
#8) #31 Jeff Burton: He is on the mark and it ain't no fluke , and I think if they take a page out of Princes book (the singer not Kyle Petty) they can solve their sponsor problem, they can just put the AT&T colors on the car but where they would normally put the sponsors name put: "The Cell phone Company formally known as Cingular"! We'll get it!
#9) #07 Clint Boyer: I don't think Jack Daniels could have found a better driver to represent them! He looks mean , he races hard, I think he's the one who kicked my ass in that bar two summers ago.( I should have known what type of place that was!)
#10) #8 Dale JR.: Look I am sorry to all you JR fans but this ain't gonna be his year. He's gonna win a couple , His popularity will grow but he is busy tryin to figure out where to take Budweiser next year, he must take a page out of Gordon's book : ride it out till you're settled then with your mind clear, go kick ass baby! On the lighter side instead of demanding 51% you should have just married her and if things did not work out then you know you got at least 50% !
The Spoiler: This week it is #11 Denny Hamlin , I'm glad he did not win at Richmond just cause I don't like sappy hometown hero wins the race stories, but look out this kid means business, I hear they have more money to spend on the car because they ship the pit crew overnight to the race with Fed-ex!
Ain't no way : Greg Biffle will win , put your money elsewhere folks!
Honorable mention: Ricky Craven, I was so sorry to see that tide go out!
C-YA next week!
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